Finding Purpose in your Pain (how to access Post Traumatic Growth)

So, last week, some devastating shit went down on our property.

But the emergency arborist (who simultaneously rescued while almost killing our cat), reminded me of a confidence-boosting, bank account growing, LIFE CHANGING lesson…

I’ll spare you the long story and get right into the meat n’ deets because I think you’re gonna love this.

(Especially if you’re TERRIFIED of failing or of people finding out about your deepest shames/wounds).

So, ironically, the same weekend he had to come to rescue our cat (who was stranded & bunking with an owl for 16 hours - true story), we were scheduled to go to our arborist and his wives house for dinner (#smalltownvibes)

Literally, the moment we rolled into his house, still unbuttoning our jackets, he says, “Well, I learned a LOT from my first cat rescue”...

He was stoked.

He went on to explain, in-depth, all the different strategies he would implement next time he has to rescue a cat from a massive rainforest tree.

(Including having two people at the bottom of the tree, holding a taut sheet to catch the cat that will LIKELY plunge in an attempt to escape said arborist who likely, to a terrified feline, looks like a predator climbing the tree.)

^ That’s not THE lesson of this email, but please do keep that one in your back pocket for desperate times if you ever need to rescue a cat.

Anyways, as I was reflecting on this conversation and all the things he’d do differently next time, I realised that what he was saying was profound…

And it’s a lesson that will make you very rich in your business (spiritually and financially).

You ready for it...?

It’s the skill of PTG (Post Traumatic Growth).
Aka: Finding the purpose in your pain.

I know, I know. You’ve probably heard this before… But stick with me.

Our SUCCESSES are not what makes us valuable as healers & spiritual leaders.
I mean sure… success in our craft does validate that we know wtf we’re doing...

But success is only 20% of what actually makes us valuable to others.

The other 80% is in the wisdom we’ve gained from our deepest wounds, business fuck ups, and heart-wrenching failures, that make us valuable.

Our arborist technically failed his mission that day.

But because he "failed" (and because he's humble and hungry for growth) he was able to come up with tangible, strategic solutions to implement into his business & rescues in the future.

Which means he didn’t fail at all.
He became more valuable! To himself, and future cat rescue needs.

It’s truly the frictions we face, the failures and the fumbles that we come out on top from, that make us valuable as coaches, practitioners, and leaders.

It’s how you’ve personally clawed your way out of despair.
It’s the money lost, and the wisdom gained.
It’s the conversations where you WISH you would have said XYZ, that prepare you for future conversations.

And it's all of these moments you can share with others to shorten THEIR paths to success.

But only, truly ONLY, when we have the self-awareness and ability to look back with curiosity, openness, and a desire for growth can we become valuable from our setbacks.

Our arborist could have easily said, “It wasn’t MY fault the cat jumped... “

But in true leadership style, he objectively looked at himself in the equation and diagnosed what he will do better next time.

(This is the EXACT formula we walk our students through after they fumble through their first SIT sessions. What did you do AWESOME that you’re proud of? And where can you improve next time?).

Core Value #2 of an Empowered Healer: There is no failure, only feedback. Only growth.

So. If you’re struggling with what kind of content to write…

If you’re struggling with how to connect with your ideal client online…

If you’re struggling with what unique VALUE you bring to your practice or programs...
 
Start with writing down your top 3 “failures”, heartaches, or wounds (as it relates to your ideal client & craft/purpose on the planet)…

And write down the lessons you took away from it. Oftentimes, it's the knowledge you take for granted.

This is some of the most highly valuable & relatable content you can create.

And if you’re TERRIFIED of failure…

Just remember - it’s usually not failure we’re actually afraid of.
It’s what people will think of us, if we fail, we’re afraid of.

Fail fast and fail hard because failing forward is the fastest path to creating big value.

Question your wounds - get curious about what wisdom they’re gifting you.

And when you do that? You will win. :)

Much love,

Kelsey, Co-Founder of Empowered Healers Academy
Post Traumatic Growth Aficionado

PS. Roman now has PTCD - a rare symptom known as Post Traumatic Cuddle Devotion.

After many cuddles & healing work, Boy is recovering very well.